Wild encounters
Me, Peter and the third wheel Moses.
123 I start with three footnotes because a lot of my engagement and pondering has snowballed. One of my biggest fears is offending someone - in this case, not giving credit where credit is due; of being misunderstood and attacked because of it. Not because I can’t say sorry and make it right, but because feelings and reactions can move in fast. I specialise in fast and intense. Out of fear of the internet being even faster than me(!), I’ll say from the start - my writing is my own, but I’m under no illusion that I’m original in my thoughts. This writing is formed from the fast, intense feelings I have experienced this week as I’ve had wild encounters. Consider this a cookie-cutting of the footnotes. Consider me a perfectly imperfect gingerbread man.
Well…..it’s kind of me and Peter. Holding hands. We morphed together on a baking sheet.
Matthew 17 begins: ‘Six days later Jesus took Peter (my mate) James and John, and led them up a high mountain to be alone. As the men watched, Jesus’ appearance was transformed so that his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as light. Suddenly, Moses and Elijah appeared and began talking with Jesus.
Imagine that! What the heck! I go up a mountain to hang out with my mates - one of whom is everyone’s BFF Jesus - and in a wild moment I suddenly realise that He’s the GOAT. (That’s - Greatest Of All Time. A Gen Z new-old phrase.) Then there are other incredible friends there too - who I totally know but actually don’t know at all. Moses and Elijah! I’ve heard that Moses was the ‘prophet GOAT’ in the Torah (Deuteronomy 34:10). I tangibly experience the fullness of Jesus. Someone tell me - what is an appropriate response to that?
Out of great intention, Peter reacts. Matthew 17:4 ‘Lord it’s wonderful to be here! If you want, I’ll make three shelters as memorials - one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.’ Amazing idea! But it misses the mark. And it brings tears to my eyes that no one responds to Him. God doesn’t even acknowledge Peter’s attempt at a response. It’s quite rude of God to ignore Peter and continue being Himself, but I guess you’re allowed to do that if you’re God. God knows it will all work out in the end.
How much time sits in that moment of no response? The text implies not much, but my mind can move as fast as Peter’s. People surround him, and he is alone. He thought his action was appropriate, but he failed. What is happening before his eyes is WILD. Supernatural. He’s a simple guy, and this is terrifying. Peter can’t get anything right. Shame.
Peter has to sit with those feelings while God continues moving and revealing Himself. Matthew 17:5 ‘….a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, ‘This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.’ Peter already knew that. That’s why he offered a response. Why does God tell him what he already knew?!
‘Listen to him.’ God tells Peter what he already knew because he was missing it. He was seeing God and simultaneously completely missing Him! There’s not even time to mention grace. Peter has to work that out later. Everything is snowballing. In 17:6 Peter finally gets his response perfect:
The disciples were terrified and fell face down on the ground.
Peter was already terrified, but this is different. This is healthy fear. Peter’s human fear response was in his mind - no one could see it. His Godly fear response was in his body. Everyone could see that posture. By ‘everyone’ I actually mean a select few. Two legends of the faith, Moses and Elijah, and a couple of church mates. They were fortunate enough to be next to the guy that was so incredibly broken.
Did the disciples all fall in healthy fear at once? I reckon they did. Encountering God and responding in worship isn’t a spectator sport. That’s the perfect church. Broken people face down in the presence of a perfect God. Anyone who encounters God so tangibly is going down, and the text doesn’t imply much physical time sat in this moment. Peter suddenly wasn’t alone in his posture. But he was still down.
And then this: Jesus - a human piece of God - comforts him. Jesus physically places a hand on the back. That’s all. Immediate comfort. A bit of strength.
And then Jesus (God) speaks, ‘get up.’ But once you have experienced God, how do you ‘get up’? We’re not in heaven here. I am FLOORED after experiencing something I can’t articulate. Something exciting, wild, hope-filling. But it’s only a moment, and I’m left with my mind. What now? And Jesus speaks. The answer is to stand up.
How do I stand without your Spirit?
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. Getting up is one thing. Remaining up is another. Waiting is horrible. It’s this tension of being still and being ready for anything. I’m not a fan. The easiest way to wait is with a plan. My plan? Love my husband. Pay attention to the kids and get them out the door. Make sure dinner is ready. Exercise. Have clean clothes ready. Answer the phone. Attend prayer. Listen. Attend worship. Listen. Attend the means of grace.4 There’s no magic formula to spiritual strengthening. But to remain standing, there’s a posture. The means of grace and discipline in the daily grind is it. Peter had to learn that once the moment was over.
And then Jesus (God) deals his next instruction, ‘don’t be afraid’. Easier said than done. Because when we’re grasping for the strength to stand, we’re not only doing it with Jesus. We’re in the world living. Each day. The truth is I’m not just being asked to stand; I have to go.
How do I go without your Spirit?
How am I supposed to remain standing if I can’t constantly worship? It’s quite a predicament that I’m still working out.
Last Sunday, a disciple by my side gave an exceptional sermon5 about Moses - you know the GOAT prophet. There has never been another prophet like him. I don’t understand it, but Moses was fortunate enough to be there on that mountain with broken Peter face down in worship. This is a supernatural, outside the box of time moment. They are all there in it together.
Moses spent his first 40 years thinking he was somebody. He spent his second 40 years learning he was a nobody. He spent his last 40 years discovering what God can do with a nobody. Dwight Moody.
Not gonna lie. I’m 43. And I look at that quote and feel it in my bones. But this is supernatural - this is outside the box of time. Peter was in his head for a long time, but it actually wasn’t very long at all. Peter was seeing God. He knew it. And God was still God. What’s an appropriate response?
Podcast engaging - Practicing the Way with John Mark Comer - this Substack post is particularly drawn from my reflections of 22 June episode “Water from a Deep Well | Icons & Saints E05”
Continuing to stand up and not be afraid when I turn up at Komanawa Wesleyan Church - a church plant of the Wesleyan Methodist Church of NZ. Do denominations matter? That’s a conversation for another day that I don’t have an answer for. We moved to Christchurch because I sensed God was drawing our family back to this stream of the Christian faith. In this community and physical location, I’m encountering Jesus in a new way. I know Jesus is everywhere but maybe you should come. Get off the internet and hang out with me in person. Move to Christchurch. Stranger things have happened.
‘Means of Grace’ is a phrase that many who study theology will know but was recently introduced to me by Richard Waugh. Check out his book ‘Renewing Your Wesleyan DNA’.
Jennie Sinclair began a series ‘Lessons from the life of Moses’ - this week was title ‘Saved for a Purpose.’ Listening to it might help you stand.